The answer is rushing up to meet me. It must be deep. My determination sees me through. When you realize you don’t really know something critical to furthering any understanding of anything else, you ask. You do it, because you must. The words cross your mind, they seem absurd even there, but it’s not enough, the question must cross your lips and be breathed into being. You ask.
Tears seem to well up from the asking, you’re not sure why, there is heat in those tears, a rumbling warmth behind the eyes. You ask again and again. You know you don’t know the answer, and it’s the first time in a long time such honesty was allowed to surface. In the past you would have answered with, “I know.” You can’t now, because you asked, and you asked because you realized you didn’t know. That unknowing allowed for space.
Silence responds with more silence, but what was so unnerving before is now a comfort. You can’t explain it, but the silence is adequate. The response sweet. The answer is there, and while you know you didn’t really understand it, you knew it was enough. You knew that you would understand eventually, and that, coupled with a dawning realization that everything else rested on that understanding, gave you the courage to wait.
The answer to my question will be the foundation from where I lay my garden. That is why I am willing to wait for the answer. You can’t rush such understanding. I am forty plus and until this very morning I thought I knew the answer. I based every decision I have ever made on that dangerous oversight! Maybe that is why the answer comes slowly, it must navigate the treacherous waters of my assumptions.
The more I recount my life, the more I realize I have no experience that I can fall back on to give me any foundation. I must let all of it go. I must forgive all the sights seen as nothing more than wishful dreaming. A dark wish, that undercuts reality. Is this what waking feels like? It must be driving you crazy to know the question, but I’m not sure telling you is the wisest of all outcomes. What enlightenment could you glean by re-asking what you consider elementary questions? How many of you are on the edge of your seat ready to assist me with my query?
Here, Ponder this…
If God is love and God created Me like itself… So, by that understanding, I realized I didn’t know what Love is. I didn’t know what or who I am. I simply asked, “What is Love, What am I?” I thought I knew.
I’m so very happy that I thought again.
The Adventures of the Traveling Philosopher 
This is what I would say to those questions. You’re you, you’re whatever you want to be from one moment to the next. The drive to compare oneself to another self all the time, it is not required and in some situations, it can be unhealthy.
People, they experience love in different ways. No one person comes to love through the same routes. On a personal level, we feel, experience and perceive it in our own ways.
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